The waiting period

Let’s face it, nobody likes to wait. Whether you’re the 4th person in on the grocery line, staring at brake lights for a mile long on the expressway, or waiting for a desire/prayer to unfold, we would all rather “fast-pass” it and  jump on the HOV lane of life. Given the opportunity, we would all skip the waiting and in some cases, the testing period.

In my first two examples above, waiting is waiting. On the grocery line you can catch up on social media or emails, maybe even start a conversation with someone dealing with the same agony. In traffic, you can make that phone call (hands free, of course), or listen to a good podcast.

My third example can be a bit tricky. You know you will eventually be rung up at the Village Market and that the traffic will subside at some point, but how do we wait for something that may never materialize?

Waiting is both a noun and a verb. Depending on HOW you wait determines the function of speech.

We can wait for “it” to happen and go about our lives just hoping our time will come, or we can be active in our waiting.

Actively waiting takes on a whole new meaning.

I am reminded of this anonymous quote:

“A man once asked his father, Father, how will I ever find the right woman? His father replied, forget finding the right woman, instead focus in being the right man.”

This saying really stuck with me, in fact it literally stuck on the wall in my home office for a couple of years. Shortly after discovering this quote I came across a writing exercise that followed in the same vein. The first half of the exercise seemed pretty simple, define the woman of your dreams. As I continued reading I discovered it was much more complex than I had thought. They didn’t want just the top 3 things that came to your mind when you thought about “her”, they wanted you to create her. I was asked to fill up pages, listing every detail. Her height, hair, fashion style? What are her political, moral and religious beliefs? Education, career, retirement plans?

I was a taken back, since at this point I just kind of knew what my preference was, yet I was open to someone with black hair too.

I thought it could be fun so I spent the next  couple of days creating my dream girl.

OK, 7 pages later, I’m ready for part two. Part two of the exercise was just as tricky! Using the same amount of pages you used on the first part, describe the type of man that this girl would we attracted to.

Wow, this was an eye opener!

I started, but half way through this portion, I peaked ahead to step three, which was, “Now become that man”.

Truth be told, I never “formally” finished the second portion of this exercise, but I was sure glad I came across it. I saw how it made perfect sense, ”like attracts like”. If I wanted someone on this level, I needed to be there too. If I was unwilling to lower my standards, which I was, I had to make sure “we”, wherever she was, were on par.

Starting then and continuing now, I made changes to “be better”.

Less than 2 years later and still far from perfect, I married my “answered prayer” two weeks ago.

Does she “fit to a t” everything I wrote down back then, of course not. The exercise wasn’t about finding the perfect mate, it was actually nothing about a mate, it was about me.

I actively waited for her. I worked on myself, I made changes. I prepared myself for what I was hoping & praying for.

I’m in a season in my life where I am seeing other prayers, hopes and desires beginning to unfold and I find myself thinking about this exercise often. If I want “this”, am I “there” yet? Am I prepared, am I ready?

“Act as if” and be prepared.

Act as is you are going to meet your dream mate today, Act as if you are awaiting your dream job opportunity, Act as if your dream is about to be funded, Act as if you’re about to be able to fund your own dream, Act as if what you’re praying over your children is about to happen, Act as if today is going to be the best day ever.

Be “there” before your “there” gets “here”.